Change is in the wind.

They say that change is good.   I am not quite sure who said it first and where they got that idea, but it is different.  Some changes are easy, like letting Brendan go off to school, while some are harder, like letting go of something you helped create.  I know they sound almost the same ( I did create Brendan last time I checked) but never the less, they are different.  They feel different and different parts of me went into both of them.  With Brendan I have been looking forward to this day for awhile now and so has he.  Maybe that is why it was so easy.

The other change I am talking about is the change within CPM.  I have been an admin on that site since it first opened almost 3 1/2 yrs ago.  I have sat there through the calms and the violent storms that occurs in this setting.  I love it and I hate it, but mostly I got a laugh out of it.  The things that can happen when you get that many women together is amazing and might make you cringe.  High school hasn't got anything on a mom's group......

So in 3 1/2 yrs I played counselor, referee, judge, jury, enforcer, fundraiser, promoter, greeter, teacher, recruiter, plus more and all at once.  It is an addiction and an obsession.  A headache and a joy.  A comedy and a tragedy.  All rolled into one.  How could you not get just a tad upset when you realize it is time to step away.  Not from the whole thing, just from the "fun" parts.  I am so not knocking a regular member, but after seeing what goes on behind the scenes, it is extremely hard to see nothing and be nothing.  Maybe it is missing the power.  I am not sure.  Anyway you look at it, it is hard.  Just plain HARD!

I know in time it will get easier, but for now....I think I am just going to sit here and remember the days when I could ban at the touch of a button!!!